Hand Gestures and Using Two Hands in Korea

Something that you will probably see a lot of in Korea is people doing strange things with their second hand when giving things to people. Just like bowing, this is used as a sign of respect. When you give something or receive something from someone who is older OR more senior you should use two hands. At my school when I hand out worksheets my students always take the work sheet from me using two hands. If you are in business and are accepting/handing out a business card, always use two hands. You can find more about giving/receiving business cards here.

You have a few options here.
1) You can accept/pass the object (i.e. piece of paper) with both hands as you receive it.

2) You can accept/pass the object with just one hand and touch any part of your arm between the wrist and the elbow with your second hand.

3) You can accept/pass the object with just one hand and bring your second hand in to wrest on the side of your rib cage just below your armpit. You will look like you have stomach pains, but it is considered polite. Personally, I go with option 1 or 2. 

If you are unsure if you should use two hands, then use two hands. You will never offend someone by offering or receiving something using two hands. Worst case they might think you are a little strange.

Here is a video from EatYourKimchi on hand gestures.

Receiving a Business Card in Korea

I won't reiterate the rules about using two hands, but I felt I should add a couple more important notes when giving/accepting business cards.

Even though many Korean businesses litter the sidewalk with business cards (either by high speed scooter or someone walking and randomly dropping piles of business cards at your door), if someone hands you their business card and you would like to do business with them someday you need to be super respectful.

1) Use two hands
2) Treat it like they have given you something amazing. Spend some time looking at it and maybe even comment on how nice the design is.
3) Make sure they see you put it in your wallet.
4) When you put it in your wallet, don't stuff it in the back with all the other cards. Put it in the front in the high use zone (where you stick things like credit cards). 

These rules may sound silly, but they can go a long way to building a successful business relationship with someone. 

Now... up until now it all makes sense right? It is a little over the top but you can see where they are coming from. This is the crazy thing. In Korea (I am unsure about other Asian countries) businesses will often pay scooter drivers to drive around the streets with huge wads of business cards to ninja throw at doors. 

The picture above is the front door to my apartment building. I have never seen anyone pick these up to do anything other than throw them in the bin. Why on earth would someone pick something up that has been on the filthy ground? It is a huge waste and frankly I view it as littering. Not only that, but given what I said about treating business cards like they are something special, this seems highly illogical doesn't it. Welcome to Korea. 

Our Parents Meet

The day had finally arrived. My parents were to meet her parents and... well... I don't think anyone knew what to really expect, but happily the shit didn't hit the fan. I think the cultural differences and language barrier actually helped the situation, though it probably did make people feel more awkward than they otherwise would have felt. 

I'm sure nowadays people that picture the worst instantly flash back to this movie. 

I know some people worry about their parents meeting, but I wasn't particularly worried about it. Will they get along? Will they like each other? The reality is that their relationship started long before they met for the first time. They already know basic facts about each other like where they live, what the do for a living, etc. With each story or anecdote they get to know each other a little better. 

My parents probably had the upper hand in the food department. We decided to go to an Italian restaurant rather than a traditional Korean restaurant. Since I am the groom, it was my parents responsibility to pay for the meal. Jihyeon's father picked the most expensive thing on the menu (30,000 won). I am not sure if it was intended to be some kind of a test to see how my parents would react or if he just wanted the steak. Either way, my dad responded by ordering the same thing :).

As I said the cultural differences actually helped the situation more than hinder it. Traditionally in Korea when two Korean families meet for the first time much of the discussion centers around money and how much, how much will be spent on different aspects of the wedding, where the couple will live, what furniture will be bought to furnish their house, where the wedding will be held, etc. There was none of that. I told my parents of the cultural obligation for them to buy some gifts for Jihyeon's parents (in this case a Hanbok for her mother and a suit for her father and brother and a dress for her sister) and that they would need to part with some cash for these things, but other than that there was no talk of money. 

Jihyeon did an excellent job translating and did her best to keep the conversation flowing between both our parents. 

Overall I think the meeting went well. The only thing I was disappointed about is the restaurant didn't have doggy bags to put the left over pizza in :(

Driving etiquette in South Korea

I thought I would share an article written by a Korean on driving etiquette here in South Korea. You can find the original article here.

By Kim So-yee 
Last year I got my driver’s license. After a year, I gave up driving because of the poor driving etiquette in Korea.

I was fully aware of Korean drivers’ bad reputation prior to hitting the roads, but it was much worse than I expected. There are so many reckless drivers on the road, which made me really annoyed and nervous. And they cause a so many accidents.

In 2011, Korea’s death rate in car accidents was 11.3 per 100,000 people, the highest figure among OECD nations. Last year, Korea posted the highest fatality rate of pedestrians in the OECD.

Bad driving habits were to blame.

First, tailgating is one of the main culprits of car accidents. During rush hour, you can see such scenes throughout Seoul. Cars are in a long line to avoid missing the traffic light. Even after the traffic light changes, drivers keep tailing one another in the middle of the intersection.  

Cars that fail to drive through the traffic light unsuccessfully try to go straight, and blare their horns in frustration. The blaring of horns on the road out there creates discomfort, to say the least.  

Second, no signaling causes danger. My hands used to get wet because of firmly holding to the steering wheel to guard against the many reckless drivers who suddenly cut in from the right and left sides without turning on the blinker. In 2011, many fender-benders occurred due to sudden-lane changes. 

Third, they make quick starts. I once witnessed a motorcycle going through a crosswalk before the traffic light turned green. The rider then fell off his bike after trying to avoid a bus turning left. This dangerous crash could have put his life in peril. Most Korean drivers tend to jump the gun on the traffic light and speed up even when the light turns yellow.

Korean drivers have little consideration for other road users, especially novice and female drivers. I attached a ''beginning driver” sign on my car.

After that, I noticed that honking and threatening tailgating increased, even when my husband, who had 10 years’ driving experience, was driving my car.  

And what’s more surprising is that as soon as I removed that sign, this problem was gone. Some drivers tend to turn nasty after they notice the driver is a woman. They always complain that female drivers don’t drive properly. But it’s not true, male drivers are more prone to car accidents than female drivers. 

Unlike in Korea, Japanese drivers have consideration for other drivers. Beginning drivers and disabled drivers must put earmarked stickers on their cars. If anybody passes or threatens a car with a sticker, they will pay a fine. 

Many Koreans who have traveled abroad say they are impressed with the driving cultures of other countries, where the priority is on pedestrians and courteous driving.

Why do gentle and placid people become reckless while driving? Professor Lee Sun-cheol of Chungbuk University points to anonymity. Most people feel anonymity is guaranteed in their cars, because they are covered with a hard shell.

Prof. Lee also says bad driving habits are a learned skill stemming from social contradictions. For example, we speed away after we make a threat or break a law, and then we go unpunished. This social atmosphere produces the distorted Korean driving culture. Now we have to step up to root out bad driving habits that threaten safety.

We need stronger penalties to change public perception that violating traffic laws is neither a crime nor a big deal. The government has to increase the number of traffic police and unmanned cameras. The police must single out those over speeding, those who jump the red light, tailgaters and other careless drivers.

When drivers are caught by police, they should pay an enormous fine, be reeducated and perform community service. Following a national movement, the government should offer incentives to drivers who make and keep the ''No violation, no accident,” pledge. Drive safely!

When should you take your shoes off in Korea?

In Australia I was brought up to always take your shoes off when you enter someones house so adjusting to this custom didn't take a lot of effort on my part, but there are a few differences to how things are done in Korea which I will talk about.

So why do Koreans take their shoes off inside? Well, apart from it reduces the amount of cleaning you need to do inside, to me the obvious answer is traditionally they would spend a lot of time sitting (eating or drinking) or laying (sleeping or resting) on the floor. 

By the front door of someones home in Korea you will ALWAYS find a shoe shelf or cupboard where Koreans will keep their shoes. When I am visiting someones home I typically just kick my shoes off by the door and leave them on the floor, but if there is not much space or I think my shoes will be in the way I put them in the shoe cupboard. 

You will also find shoe cupboards/shelves at the gym, restaurants, workplaces and schools. 

As a subtitle cue for when you should take your shoes off, keep an eye out for a difference in floor height. The height difference may be as little as 2cm or as much as 30cm. Here is a picture of the entry to my apartment. You can see the tiled area where my shoes are (I am too lazy to put them in the cupboard) is lower than the normal floor level. 

Restaurants - Not all restaurants require you to take your shoes off. Restaurants where you sit on a chair (I will call it western style) don't require you to take your shoes off. If the restaurant is a traditional restaurant where you sit on the floor at a low table then taking your shoes off and going bare foot is a must. Some restaurants have mixed seating arrangements (western style and traditional style where you sit on the floor). The two sections of the restaurant will normally be well defined and the traditional area will be on a raised floor (about 30cm higher than the western style area). Before stepping onto the raised floor, take your shoes off. Sometimes there will not be a cupboard so just leave your shoes where the floor steps up. 

School/Workplace/Gym - If you work at the place or go there regularly  you are expected to provide your own slippers for daily use. If you are a guest there will often be a set of communal slippers you can use. If not, you will need to ask to borrow someones slippers or go bare foot. Pictured below is the shoe cupboard for teachers at my school. Each teacher has their own cupboard with their name written on it where you can leave your shoes. Mine is in the very bottom right hand corner next to the clock.

Gazebos - Gazebos like the one pictured below are littered all over Korea. You should take your shoes off before stepping onto them. People will often sit on the floor and have picnics with their families and wearing shoes would be like standing on a picnic table. 

Supermarket/Fast food takeaway/Department store/Movies/Hospital/Public Bathroom - You can leave your shoes on at all these places.

Tips on how and when to bow in Korea

In Korean culture, respect for age and seniority is still important and influences how people bow to each other. 

There are quite a few rules about when and how to bow, but some general rules of thumb you can use to get you buy are:

Rule 1 - If someone bows to you, return the bow.
Rule 2 - If you are greeting someone older than you or is more senior (e.g. your school principal) you should ALWAYS bow, even if you are just passing them for the 1000th time in the hallway.

These two rules mean you basically bow to everyone unless you are friends or they scan your groceries at your local supermarket.

If you are unsure if you should bow, then bow. You will never offend someone by bowing but you may offend them if you should bow but don't. Worst case is they may think you a little strange if you bow when you don't need to.

Don't just slump your shoulders forward and think that is good enough. When doing a proper bow, you should bend at your waste. The more you bend your body, the more respect you are showing. If for example you are a teacher meeting the school principal for the first time you need to bow quite deep to show your respect. 

There are some cases where Koreans will bow so far that their head will touch the floor. They call this a "big bow".

However, generally speaking your body will bend forward between 15 and 45 degrees depending on the situation. 

Oh, and when you bow make sure you look down. Don't bow and maintain eye contact with the other person. 

Gift giving in Korea

Giving (and receiving) gifts is seen as an important part of life in Korea. I am not sure I can cover all scenarios, but I will talk about some of the situations I have found myself in and the types of gifts I have given and received. 

My fiance is Korean and her mother is always giving me gifts of food too. In her case it is because she doesn't speak a word of English, so to show that she likes me and has accepted me as part of their family she gives me food every week. My shopping bill is a fraction of what it otherwise would be because when my fiance visits, she is loaded like a pack horse with food her mother is giving me.

I find gift giving and receiving at school a rather interesting topic and a pleasant cultural difference. I regularly receive (particularly around exam time) gifts from parents, students and even other teachers. Often I don't know what the gift is for or who it is from. Is it because I don't smell as bad as other westerners, or is it because I greet them with a friendly smile every morning (well, most mornings). Here is a general list of the kinds of gifts I have received.

• lolly pops
• small cartons of milk
• vitamin juice
• hamburgers
• rice cakes
• fried chicken
• chicken nuggets (pictured below)
• soft drink (Coke, Fanta, Pepsi)
• fruit (strawberries, water mellon, korean mellon, oranges)
• pizza
• ice cream
• orange juice

So, as you can see they are not "oh wow, that is amazing" kind of gifts. They are intended to be small gestures to show your appreciation for the things people do for you. Unless it is a formal occasion, there is no need to wrap the gift. 

If the teachers at your school give you gifts from time to time, take it as a sign that they are trying to include you and make you feel welcome. You can pay the "gift debt" quite easily. You don't need to give gifts of expensive chocolates from your home country or touristy nick nacks. Stop buy your local fruit store on the way to school one morning and pick up a box of strawberries or a watermelon to leave on your staff room table for all to share. 

I must admit. I have not given many gifts to the teachers I work and share an office with. It has been a few months since I bought some food for them so I really should buy something for them again. Last time I gave them some Tim Tams (a popular chocolate biscuit in Australia which is often eaten with coffee) and also bought some things from from Paris Baguette. If you are looking for a quick and easy gift to show your appreciation to someone, stop in at a Paris Baguette. You can pick something up that tastes good for under $2 (2000won). The stores are freaking everywhere, so you won't have any trouble finding one. 

In a blog entry a few months ago (here) I noted some good gift ideas. I will re-iterate them below.

Some good Australian gifts for Korean children are:

• Pens or Pencils with Australian animals or themes.
• Australian stickers
• Koala clips (these come in a pack of 12 from most cheap shops)
• Balloons with the Australian flag on them.

Some good Australian gifts for Korean adults are:

• Coins (you can get special coin sets from the mint)
• Australian landscape books
• Shot glasses with Australian animals or themes (the drinking culture in Korea is quite strong)
• Small bowls with Australian animals or themes (in Korea meals are served with many side dishes. Small bowls are always useful).
• Tim Tams - For anyone not familiar with Australian cuisine, this is a type of popular chocolate biscuit. You can't go wrong with these, though some Koreans do find them very sweet.
• Australian wine - There are some very good wines produced in Australia.
• Australian themed place mats.
• Australian themed tea towels. 
• An Australian flag. You can pick up cheap flags for between $3 and $6 each. Good quality flags cost more. 

That is all I can think of right now. I will probably add some other instances once I get married.

Modern Korean Wedding

I was off to a great start last week. A couple of disabled students I teach English gave me a card welcoming me to Korea.

The rest of the week went pretty quick. Before I knew it, it was the weekend and I was on my way to Seoul to attend the wedding for one of Jihyeon’s friends. This time I caught the more expensive KTX train which is much faster, quieter and cleaner than the other options. It costs about 20,000 won ($20) to go from Daejeon to Seoul and takes about 1 hour. As a comparison, the cheaper slower trains cost about 10,000 won ($10) and take about 2 hours.

Once in Seoul we had to catch the subway to the wedding venue. While on the subway I spotted this guy trying to sell some facemasks. Jihyeon told me that it is illegal and they can get fined, but it is still a common sight to see on the Seoul subway. They have small trolleys packed with their merchandise and shout at the top of their voice. I had to get off before he turned around so I couldn’t get a photo of his face.

We eventually made it to the wedding just in time. The bride and groom were having some professional photos taken in a small tent before the ceremony started.

The ceremony started with the two mothers bowing to each other before sitting down.

The groom then stood nervously waiting for his bride. You might notice that there is no best man or brides maid or anything. This is normal in Korea.

The bride then made an appearance with her father and walked down the aisle.

Some more bowing

We then (I say we, but the songs were in Korean so I just listened) sang some songs. The couple then took their vows. They didn’t read their vows, the minister read the vows and they just agreed.

Then some professional singers sang a song for the lucky couple.

Then some more bowing to parents.

And then it was all over red rover.

Now, this is where things differ quite a bit from western style weddings. The bride and groom treated everyone to a buffet lunch in what I would call a kind of fancy cafeteria (there were waterfalls). Typically in Australia everyone would move to a more formal sit down dinner/lunch where the bride, groom, best man and brides maid would sit up the front in front of all the guests. There would be some speeches before eating the food, and then after eating people might decide to dance. There was none of that in Korea (which is fine, I am just pointing out the difference). The bride and groom didn’t attend the lunch.

Korean Birthday

I am a little behind in my blogging but I will try to catch up today. A couple of weekends ago was Jihyeon’s fathers birthday. He was kind enough to invite me to spend the day with his family and share a meal with me. I had met him on one previous occasion soon after arriving in Korea but I was very sick at the time.

So off I went to Iksan again. At the train station I noticed something interesting. I have walked past it a few times but never taken much notice of it. Can you guess what it is?

It is a parking structure for push bikes. I have seen this sort of thing a couple of times for cars (you drive your car into a lift at street level, and the lift carries your car automatically to a parking space). This is a similar thing, but for bikes!

Both Jihyeon’s parents speak no English, so I had to do my best to get in their good books without speaking English. Korea is very big on customs and rituals and buying gifts for the both the parents is seen as quite an important thing. Greeting people appropriately is also seen as a very important thing. You need to bow and use respectful greetings and only shake hands if the older person extends their hand to shake your hand. If you do shake hands, the younger person needs to use both hands when shaking the older person’s hand. 

The gifts and greetings went well. I didn’t put my foot in it, though in hind sight red wine wasn’t the best gift for Jihyeon’s father. I bought her mother a small plate in Australia which was decorated by an aboriginal artist which she seemed to really like.

As with all birthday parties there was food and cake. The food was great. There was smoked duck, bulgogi, seaweed soup (standard thing for Koreans to eat on their birthday) and a large array of side dishes (which were all great) and rice (standard with every meal). We all sat on the floor around a low table and ate until we were about to burst (well, I ate until I was about to burst) and then there was cake…..

I was really excited about the cake. Would it be chocolate? Would it be sponge? What cake do they eat in Korea for their Birthday. I turns out they eat rice cake…. I don’t mind it but it is not as good as Chocolate cake :(. The “cake” is made up of many small rice cakes of different flavours and textures.